Autumn spirituality: the unbelievably bad cosplay of capitalism

Welcome back to the Delightful Diaries, autumn spirituality edition. This is my journalish series on the blog. As always, I’ll cover…

1 song I’ve had on repeat in the last week
2 recipes I’ve enjoyed in the last week
3 words/phrases to set a vibe for next week
4 things that have been inspiring me lately, and
5 things I’ve doing to take care of myself.

This has been an interesting week. I wish I could say I’ve taken a step back from working my ass off, but that’s not the case. I’ve just been strategically avoiding burnout. In doing that, I’ve had a little extra time these past few evenings, and I’ve been feeling pretty… spiritual.

It’s a typical trend for me. Every September, like clockwork, I find myself longing for my shadow self. Wanting to get in touch with local spirits. Thinking about how I’ll support my well being without sunshine. Shopping for tarot cards when I have 12-15 decks in a box somewhere. I actually check out the seasonal section at Marshall’s for once. And just like that, “cold season prep” becomes “stocking up on things that I have never once considered purchasing until this moment.”

IIs it a bad thing to shop for Halloween decor? Absolutely not! But it probably isn’t great to repurchase things I could have saved from last year. It’s probably not great to hit up Fashion Nova for a costume I’m going to wear once before it sits in a landfill, either. (Guilty as charged.)

But beyond all that, it’s not exactly ideal to let my “autumn spirituality” fall down the pipeline to “fall shopping” before I even have a chance to explore what my heart is searching for. The fact is that as the warm season winds down, the thing on my mind is death. I’m thinking about how the lush green outside my window is going to fade. The sky is going to be gray for weeks! I know why I try to fill the void with buying decor, clothes, and occult supplies. It’s because I have a little capitalism gnome in my brain that thinks if I buy something, I’m a little safer. A little warmer. A little cozier.

This year, I’m working actively to prevent myself from falling into that trap. I want my autumn spirituality to stay spiritual. I want to continue centering my Self in my spiritual life. Wrapping up the preamble here!

1stly, a song that’s been supporting my autumn spirituality: Young, Wild & Free by Snoop Dogg.

Sorry to disappoint, but this is the ultimate end-of-summer track. I’ve been saying this for over a decade and I’ll be saying it for many more. A little nostalgic, still warm from the summer, not the best rap or theeeee most innovative, cutting-edge production or anything. Just a chill bop that reminds me of late nights/early mornings at the end of August, when you know it’s going to get cold soon, but it’s already 60°-ish F at dawn, so maybe the cool season won’t be that bad.

2 recipes I’ve enjoyed this week

No, I did not hit my poke goal, but maybe it’s just not time for homemade poke yet. Maybe next week? What I HAVE been enjoying…

1. This random tiktok wrap. This is a truly otherworldly wrap. Do not sleep on this shit. I got pre-sliced chicken for quicker prep, and the final product blew me away.
2. This taco meat recipe from House of Yumm, but honestly, I’ve been using store-bought taco seasoning and using the tomato sauce trick in here. (Spoiler: you drain the meat and bind the seasoning to tomato sauce instead of fat for a clearer taste.) I have made this properly before, though, and it’s wonderful.

3 words/phrases that encapsulate ✨ autumn spirituality ✨ for me…

1. 🍁 Rinse and repeat
2. 🔮 Free your mind
3. 🌊 Lay low and observe

4 things that have been inspiring to get into my autumn mindset

1. Once again, the Huberman Lab podcast. The recent episode on emotional intelligence really got me in a spiritual mood. It’s fascinating that so many folx can’t differentiate between their emotions, myself included! It takes a concerted effort for me to name my emotions sometimes, but I like to think I’ve gotten better at it over the years.
2. I finished Bad Mormon by Heather Gay, and I’m deeply moved by her story. People can be pretty harsh on Heather, and I truly don’t understand why. Let the woman live. This book was also a gift from one of my good friends. There’s nothing more nourishing, warm, and autumn-like than devouring a book a friend hand selected for you. Thank you, Sean!!
3. Creating a fall reads list. This season, I just know I’m going to be scrambling for something to do or buy when I’m frazzled from rainy/cold weather. My solution so far is to line up a “menu” of things to DO before my shopping list of things to buy. But “reading” is a broad category, so I’m dividing up books I want to read into categories like “autumn spirituality” and “vibes all the way down.” What’s better than a list? A list of lists.
4. I started using the How We Feel app, which is an emotion tracker. I’m enjoying the visual representation of how I’m feeling based on where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m doing. It’s refreshing to look at emotions through a more complex lens rather than simply “good” or “bad.” (I can hear my therapist in the back of my mind saying emotions are neither good nor bad.) This app helps you think more along the lines of the energy level and pleasantness of different emotions, which I’m finding super useful and kind of fun.

5 things I’ve been doing to cultivate my autumn spirituality before it turns into a shopping addiction (again)

1. Using my shopping list. Whenever I want to buy something, I put it on a list for “next month” or something similar. It’s crazy how you can want a Balenciaga t-shirt so badly at 1am, and not at all the following afternoon. Special mentions for autumn: a mousepad shaped like a maple leaf, Killcrew leggings (I only have 3 or 4 full length leggings!), Sheertex tights (what if it’s cold??), a towel warmer, and a bomber jacket… to add to my collection of bomber jackets. (????????)
2. Sleeping 8 hours a night. Always on the list. One night this past week, I decided to leave the AC off for what I imagined would be a “European late summer dreamscape.” No. Ridiculous. I slept an extra hour the following night to make up for tossing and turning in the heat.
3. Mindfully pacing out social engagements. I took a week off from social stuff to help manage my social anxiety, something that’s relatively new my life. It’s been great to wait until I feel driven to see folx again instead of filling up my calendar out of a fear that my relationships are suffering. There are tons of ways to remind people that you care in between hangouts, and everyone who loves me understands that I need time and space to recharge and grow. This is part of my anti-burnout strategy, and it works. 💕
4. Had a last-hurrah solo beach day this week. If you’re wondering how to read oracle cards on the beach when the breeze is high, see below. The way the global warming forecast is looking, we might have one or two more beach days this year, which I’ll accept… but it’s a little weird. I treated my beach day this past week as a practice run for my upcoming Autumn Equinox ritual.
5. Working at the coffee shop. I’ve been trying to get out of my head and out of my HOUSE when I’m at work. It helps to have a change of scenery, so when I’m home, the “wfh lifestyle” is a little less “w” and a little more “h.”

That’s all, folx. Have an amazing week!

xoxoz